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Entries in Zakshesky Independent Research (2)

Tuesday
May132014

The Offspring: It's Time For An Intervention

Since 1984, The Offspring have released nine studio albums and have gone through various shake-ups in terms of band members. I first was introduced to them in middle school, and this California-based punk band instantly became one of my favorite groups growing up -- largely due to their Conspiracy of One album, released in 2000. Obviously, as my age progressed, so did my taste in music. However, a soft spot in my heart for this iconic band remained, largely because whenever one of their classic songs is shuffled while working out or driving, I am reminded of my childhood.

In 2012, The Offspring released their latest album, Days Go By. In all sincerity, there are a few "decent" songs present, but generally speaking, the content is largely generic in nature and none of the tracks really stand out from the rest. With that said, there is one song that has unfortunately become a guilty pleasure of mine -- Cruising California (Bumpin' In My Trunk).

Dexter Holland, the lead singer of the band (and molecular biology graduate student) was born in 1965. Perhaps I am in the minority with my reservations, but hearing a 48 year-old-man casually using the word "caboose" in his music comes off sounding creepy and weird, regardless of how catchy the song may be.

Tuesday
Feb192013

Mall Walkers: An American Epidemic

via Wikipedia:

Mall walking is a form of exercise in which people walk or jog through the usually long corridors of shopping malls. Many malls open early so that people may mall walk, however stores and other such facilities generally do not open at this time. Many choose to mall walk as the indoor climate is comfortable and there is easy access to restrooms.

Mall walking is undertaken individually, in groups, or as part of an organized mall walking program. Mall walking in the United States is especially popular amongst senior citizens."

I was recently in dire need of brake service for my car. Seeing as though I have had great luck with Sears Automotive over the years with regards to walk-ins because of their flexible hours, and because they are typically within close proximity to shopping malls, I chose them because I would have somewhere to go for a few hours while I await the eventual return of my car keys.

It was very early in the morning, and I was in desperate need of food. After confirming with the Sears associate that the food court was in fact open at 8am, I made my way towards the smell of what appeared to be a nourishing breakfast.

In all actuality, the only venue open at such an hour is McDonalds, so my desire for a "nourishing" breakfast never came to fruition.

However, I gathered up my coffee and McGriddle combo meal (which to this day, the science behind these things baffle me) and sat down amongst an incredibly old crowd. Let me say this:

On this particular morning at this particular mall, I was the youngest person by about 35 years. While eating my breakfast, I happened to look around, and saw hordes of senior citizens power walking around me, almost as if they were planets orbiting a sun.

I was absolutely astounded. I literally counted 25 elders in all directions of me. Furthermore, many of these people were wearing Under Armour, sneakers, and wind breakers. These folks actually come to malls during the early morning hours to physically enhance their aging bodies. 

Work them glutes, ladies.

After my breakfast, I still had plenty of time to kill. I decided I had reached the point in my life in which it was time for me to experience mall walking.

It was truly a liberating experience.