I'm cutting the cord on Facebook

I've been a Facebook user since my senior year of highschool. I got fed up with the debacle that was MySpace and (at the time) Facebook, a newly created social media network founded by Mark Zuckerberg seemed really clean, and was filled with features that actually worked. Over the years, as Facebook began to gain exponential amounts of social media market share, I kept using it. I remember when they first started to allow users to post status updates that didn't require one to have the word "is" appended before it. Then the company started allowing you to tag friends in photos. Facebook chat came out shortly after. Then apps.

All of these "innovations" were largely borrowed by other services, however they all seemingly worked pretty well, and it was fun to interact with everybody I knew, simply because the majority of everybody I knew was also a Facebook user. Overtime however, I discovered other services on the internet that offered (for me) a much more enriching and intuitive experience. 

• Google Talk: Let's be honest for a second, anybody who has ever used Facebook chat knows how buggy it can be. Google Talk also has complete chat history (a feature I really love)
• Twitter: A lot of people initially, and I was one of them, takes one look at Twitter and thinks out loud, "What the hell is this?" However, if you take a little time and actually set it up the way you like it, it's an amazing experience. I for one have created lists for my actual friends, news for the Madison area where I live, and for topics that I like to follow (breaking news, sports, technology, economics, and Epic Mealtime). It's actually really intuitive and addictive once you tweak it to fit your personal preferences.
• Picasa: A desktop application which implements intuitive editing features and allows you to tag your friends/family in photos and videos. There is also Picasa Web Albums which allows you to share photos with your friends.
• zakshesky.com: I spent BOTH time AND money to build this stupid website. It only makes sense to use it.

I truly have nothing really AGAINST Facebook, but over the years a number of reasons have come up that have irritated me beyond comprehension. One being simply that I'm an admitted Google fanboy and it bothers me that I'm using sub-par features from the competition. In recent months, Google has had their own FCC run-ins, and have taken a few actions that have even angered me. In spite of all this, I still prefer them over the PR fiasco that is Facebook and their "privacy" policies. I also recently received my invite to Google+, a social media project that I'm really excited about.

However, I do realize that, for whatever reason, you people have taken quite the liking to the idiotic statuses that I post, and the random photos that I upload. I still don't understand why, but because of this, I'm not deleting my Facebook account. I literally just linked my Twitter feed to my Facebook, and I will still reply to messages and wall posts. I also will continue to share links (only to selfishly plug my own website though.) Bear in mind however that I tweet approximately five times a day; if this bothers you, I strongly recommend either hiding me from your newsfeed or deleting me from your friends list ASAP. I probably will continue to upload pictures to Facebook, but I will be uploading them to Picasa as well, largely because of the fact that they offer high resolution photo and video uploads (resolutions that Facebook doesn't even come close to at this time.)

If you still wish to follow my internet adventures, I suggest you do the following:

1. Follow me on Twitter: @zaksheskyman
2. Add me on Google Talk: zaksheskymanATgmail.com (AT=@)
3. Email me at jzaksheskyATzakshesky.com (AT = @)

It's been real.

Oh, I almost forgot. The MAIN reason I'm keeping my Facebook account is because I want to awkwardly creep on the photos from my female friends after Halloween and spring break. 

At least Mark Zuckerberg isn't as big a douchebag as Tom Anderson.

Update on Thursday, June 30, 2011 at 10:54PM by Jesse Zakshesky

After 3.5 hours of reflection after I posted this article, I find myself currently downloading all my data from Facebook and officially deleting my account.

Here's why:

• I have 300 friends on Facebook. I don't have 300 friends in real life. I don't need to get invites to parties from people I don't know. I don't need to waste time looking at the comments of people who I only see once or twice a year. The 40 or so people I actually care about already talk to me via phone, IM, email, or Twitter.
• I don't need to receive emails from a service I'll never use again.
• I simply don't like Facebook anymore.

I'm done.

Update on Wednesday, June 6, 2012 at 11:33AM by Jesse Zakshesky

My "War on Facebook" has been going on since last summer, and is still going strong.

I highly recommend reading the Lifehacker article linked below. It essentially sums up my thoughts on Facebook (and all social media for that matter) and also provides insight into why I love Gmail so much, and why it's ultimately my preferred means of online communication.

"Lots of people are on Facebook, but EVERYONE has an email address."

Turn Your Email into the Best Social Network You’ll Ever Use

Update on Tuesday, August 7, 2012 at 9:21PM by Jesse Zakshesky

I posted an interesting article today regarding individuals who don't have Facebook to my Google+ circles. It garnered a pretty good discussion. 

http://www.forbes.com/sites/kashmirhill/2012/08/06/beware-tech-abandoners-people-without-facebook-accounts-are-suspicious/

Before I deactivated my Facebook account last year, I made sure that the friends that I actually cared about knew how to contact me via email and had my phone number.

Ultimately I share things with my friends via email. It's a more private means of communication which enables you to communicate freely as you would face-to-face. While I still use Twitter and Google+ mostly as a means to digest content and discuss ideas, I legitimately feel that I communicate with my friends better by simply texting them, calling them or emailing them.

It's far more personal. 

My quarter-life crisis

Nine years ago, I made arguably the biggest mistake of my life. It was a decision I made out of desperation because at the time, my only source of income was my allowance that I was given to be my parents' indentured servant (aka: Son) and perform such tasks as mowing lawns, shoveling snow, and doing dishes poorly. At this time, I became enamored with this new-fangled toy known simply as a Gameboy Advance. To pay for it, I sold my Super Nintendo and my large collection of the finest games ever created. This was easily my single greatest blunder to date.

With the exception of Halo, Gears of War, and the ability to trash talk prepubescent males over the internet, deep down I'm still a Nintendo fanboy and I really feel the need to get back to my roots. 

In all honesty, I'm no longer good at competitive FPS and Madden, and because of this fact, I retired from online gaming. My Xbox 360 is simply a means for me to watch Netflix, Hulu, ESPN 3 and other various forms of media.

I recently was at a used video game store with a friend of mine, and seeing the classic Nintendo section caused a nostalgic swell in my heart.

• Mario Bros
• Mario Kart
• Mario Golf
• Mario Party
• The Legend of Zelda
• Star Wars: Rogue Squadron
• Super Metroid
• Donkey Kong Country
• Jungle/Desert Strike
• Pitfall
• R-Type

The fact that I no longer have access to the list of aforementioned games has led me to illegally downloading emulators on my computer, but the experience isn't simply the same as holding a Dorito-covered controller in my hand at 1am.

I would like to take this opportunity to proclaim to my friends, family, roommates, and the miscellaneous Portuguese citizens that seem to love my website that I will soon be making visits to eBay and various retail outlets to rekindle a lost flame from my youth, and not only will be purchasing a Super Nintendo, but once again will be powering up my Nintendo 64 as well.

We so excited.

What I Learned Tonight

You have been warned.

Jesse Zakshesky: A Liar and a Thief

I would say that I'm a pretty straight-forward guy. Typically, I speak my mind with no worry about what people may think. That fact leads to me not having to hold on to a lot of secrets.

Except one.

When I moved to the great state of Wisconsin in fifth grade, there was a cultural phenomenon occurring on an international scale: Harry Potter. I started reading Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone while in fourth grade, and like the rest of the country, was hooked. So, one would safely assume that I would continue reading the rest of this critically-acclaimed series. 

Nope.

Even at that age, I had an uncanny desire to be different, so as much as I wanted to continue reading Harry Potter,  I felt a relentless urge to read other things, which lead to me to sports biographies, paranormal accounts, and this little thing called The Lord of the Rings. However, in spite of all this "other reading" I was doing, I was still curious about Harry Potter.

This leads us to seventh grade, when I committed theft.

At this point in my life, I had an elitist attitude towards anybody who read Harry Potter, and literally bullied them to make myself feel better. This of course was to cover my insecure tracks because in reality, I really, really wanted to read Harry Potter. Late in seventh grade, I simply couldn't take it anymore. 

It was study hall, and half of us were reading, the other half was talking, and then there was me, masterminding my heist. For the past 3 periods that day, I was stalking a fellow classmates' copy of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, and I knew I was eventually going to steal it...I just didn't know when or how. But my opponent got up, and left my prize alone, unattended. I quickly switched into attack mode, and swiftly snatched up that book with one hand and jammed it as far down my backpack as possible with the other. 

So there you go, even in spite of not reading the second book in the series, I read that entire novel in a day in a half. The really funny part was that I read it in the very study hall I stole it from, I simply put a book cover over it. After finishing the book, which I generally enjoyed, I felt guilty about having it, so I really didn't have a desire to continue reading Harry Potter, and that was the final iteration of it that I ever attempted to consume. From that summer on, I went back to my old ways, belittling people who liked the series, and eventually the films. It's only fitting that the only film adaptation of the series I ever watched also was Azkaban, which I felt inclined to see, but after viewing it, I really lost all interest in keeping up with the web of deception I created.

You may be wondering why I'm coming clean like this. Allow me to elaborate. I actually ran into the guy I stole this book from at a bar recently, and I realized that if I were to ever see him again, especially under the influence of alcohol, I would probably feel compelled to embarrass myself publicly, so let's avoid that. 

And more importantly, I really feel this story is quite entertaining.

Mike Slinde, I'm sorry I stole your damn book. If you want it back, let me know.

Harry Potter is the most over-rated series of all time.

What You Wearn't Taught In School

Saturday, February 20th, 2010 started out like a normal weekend night for 3 individuals in their early 20's. Myself plus two friends did a little bar hopping and generally had a great time discussing sports, women, and food. While walking from bar to bar, we encountered highly interesting individuals, but none of whom were more interesting than a man I met at a bar called Hawks.

When we rolled into the bar around 1:30am, I noticed what appeared to be a man in his mid-twenties, drinking by himself. Just wanting to be nice, I decide to strike up a conversation with him. It turns out his name is JP, and he has a great interest in theology and sociology. Assuming I'm just going to hear the ramblings of a drunk college student...which is never a bad thing, I decide to humor him.

However, what I was about to hear has been engraved in my mind, and for the past 2 days, I can't get it out of my head.

With no introduction at all, JP busts out the big guns metaphorically and 20 seconds into this mind blowing conversation, he pulls out an introduction that any "nerd" couldn't resist, and that simply is this:

"Jesse, what are your thoughts on The Force?"

Not sure what quite to say to this, I do my best Liam Neeson impersonation and simply reply with: "According to Star Wars lore, The Force binds all of us together, it can control our actions and our destiny." JP nodded his head with approval, but interjected with another metaphoric round house kick to my admittedly drunk mind. "Jesse, I'm prepared to tell you the truth about not only Star Wars, but the real world...in this galaxy." 

What you are about to read is the exact tale that JP described to me. I actually researched the validity of his claims, and they are obviously false, but the fact that this man was sitting alone in a bar thinking this stuff up while my friends and I JUST HAPPEN to roll in to listen to this story is no accident, and is quite possibly fate. 

According to JP, when George Lucas, the writer/director/producer of Star Wars was in college, he had a professor that was a member of the Knights Templar. Allegedly, the Knights Templar actually originated in ancient Egypt, and the founding fathers strongly believed in the idea of a force that connects our thoughts, feelings, actions, and emotions, along with environmental phenomenon, such as the seasons and rising/setting of the Sun. These people called this force "The Net" and for over 200 years, believing in The Net and basing your life around the power of it made them sacred. In JP's eloquent words, "the leader of The Net, the Muhammad or Jesus if you will, was a pointy-eared dwarf named Yooda." JP also stated that "Dwarves were a minority in ancient Egypt, and were highly persecuted", so by worshiping an Egyptian dwarf named Yooda with pointy ears, and putting your prejudices aside, that made you a true follower of The Net, and granted you the ability to achieve supernatural ability. These abilities allegedly included inhuman strength, increased cognitive ability, and advanced technological intuition. Taking that all into account, JP claims to believe that this tight knit group of followers were actually responsible for building the pyramids. "How else could something so perfect, so beautiful, so utterly geometrically sublime be created by men with mere tools?" He goes on to state that because of the threat they posed to the Pharaoh, The Net started getting systematically exterminated, and ironically enough, a few of whom were mistaken for Moses' "people." With 3/4 of The Net ruthlessly slaughtered by Egyptians, the remaining few, known as "The High Council" traveled with Moses for 40 years in the desert.

At this point, JP's story tapers off since the bar was about to close, but essentially this is what he ended on:

• The High Council lived in secrecy for thousands of years; their descendants carried on their heritage.
• George Lucas' professor, who I wasn't able to find online, allegedly is a direct descendant of this lineage.
• Instead of using lightsabers, the followers of The Net used daggers that were tapered with energy from the Sun.
• If you take one of these rare daggers to a pyramid in Egypt, you will witness phenomenon, such as color change and high temperature peaks.

Egyptian?