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Entries in Tales of Testosterone (10)


The Last Ride

Today I told my team that this will be my last ride.” - Ray Lewis on January 2nd, 2013.

So much determination.

Ray Lewis is one of my favorite athletes of all time. The news of his retirement REALLY sucks for me. Instead of a feeble attempt on my part to articulate his amazing career with words, I recommend you instead watch the video embedded below. It does a FAR superior job of honoring this man's 17 years of greatness than I ever could.


Felix Baumgartner: A Man Amongst Boys


Baumgartner expects to exceed the speed of sound – about 700 mph at that altitude – during a free fall that will last about five minutes, something no one has ever done. For all our knowledge about high-altitude flight and space travel, there’s still a lot we don’t know about what would happen if a pilot aborts a mission and ejects at the edge of the atmosphere. The air is so thin at such heights that it is easy to tumble out of control, a situation that can lead to unconsciousness and even death."

Felix Baumgartner, stepping into the void from 71,580 feet during a test jump in March. The Austrian adventurer plans a record-setting jump from 120,000 feet on Tuesday. 


Remembering Neil Armstrong

Obviously, being the first person to ever walk on the Moon is an impressive achievement, and upon your death you are bound (and deservedly so) to be remembered greatly for your amazing and historic adventure. However, nothing sums up how truly perilous and daunting a task that the commander of Apollo 11 faced quite like this quote:


So here was Neil Armstrong, harnessed into a cramped little aluminum coffin packed with all the technological computing power of a TI-85 solar-powered calculator, fighting the controls trying to manually place a two-passenger missile packed with jet fuel on the surface of an interstellar object nobody has ever attempted to land on before, and to do it delicately enough that it doesn't crash, fall over, explode, or otherwise bring about the brutally-violent deaths of everyone inside."

Godspeed, Neil.


My Guilty Pleasure

I don't have desire to pay for cable, so generally I watch all of my television via Netflix or Hulu. However, the only problem with this decision is that I miss out on a lot of new content, and typically will only see things months later because of rampant word-of-mouth. This has lead me to watching quite a bit of television at my parents' when I come over to eat their food and nap on their couch on my Sunday afternoon visits.

For the past few weeks, I have been watching A LOT of History Channel, and more specifically one of their newer dramas:

Simply unbelievable.Here is the basic premise of Swamp People according to Wikipedia:

Swamp People is a documentary television series on the History Channel that follows Cajuns living in the Atchafalaya River Basin swamp in Louisiana, USA who hunt American Alligators for a living. The series premiered August 22, 2010 and set a ratings record for History.

Alligator season in Louisiana begins on the first Wednesday in September and lasts 30 days. In this time limit, many of the alligator hunters, following a tradition dating back 300 years, earn most of their yearly income in a high risk vocation dependent on experience and the whims of weather within strict regulation by wildlife laws. 

I'll be honest here, the reason why I have taken a liking to this show is simple:

  • Cajuns.
  • Cajuns who have awesome accents.
  • Cajuns who have awesome accents carrying firearms.
  • Cajuns who have awesome accents carrying firearms in boats.
  • Cajuns who have awesome accents carrying firearms in boats attempting to shoot alligators.
  • Cajuns who have awesome accents carrying firearms in boats attempting to shoot alligators while swearing heavily.

I urge you to do yourself a favor and watch at least ONE episode of this rediculous show.



My Changing Body

For over a decade, I've had the "skill" of being able to fluctuate my voice enough to be able to mimick pop songs. Such favorites included:

Last night however, while driving home, I discovered that the days of my falsetto voice being able to carry any tune may unfortunately be over. This troubling fact can only mean one thing:

I, Jesse Zakshesky, 1.5 months away from my 23rd birthday, am going through puberty.

He and I are sharing more and more similarities as the months go on.