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Super Mario Kart: A Scouting Report

Approximately three weeks ago, I hooked up my Super Nintendo. While I no longer am an avid gamer, I'd say every six months or so, an inherently primal urge to play Super Mario Kart consumes me. During my latest 16-bit relapse, I decided that I would document key observations regarding the pros and cons of all eight characters featured in this amazing game.

Needless to say, I'm pretty proud of this.

Between hours of game time (honestly...hours. I'm slightly embarrassed to admit this) and data from a few websites as source material, I have formulated a somewhat comprehensive Super Mario Kart scouting report.

I have a strong affinity towards Princess Peach for reasons that I will not disclose publicly.

During the duration of my Super Mario Kart career, my character of choice has historically been Bowser. A few quick notes as to why that is:

  • Slow acceleration, but incredible top speed.
  • High weight allows for great handling. Important on tracks such as Ghost Valley or Rainbow Road where falling off the track is likely. 
  • High weight also allows for situations in which bullying smaller characters is possible. 
  • For some reason, I'm really good with lava ball shots. I always have been.

Perhaps in the future I may decide to expand upon this post with a descriptive scouting report on the various tracks, but that really sounds exhausting. With that said, I sincerely urge any of you to venture to my apartment and challenge me at this game. I'm not even kidding. I don't have many opportunities to play Battle Mode that often anymore, which is unfortunate.

Source Material:

A quick note on Rainbow Road: Shigeru Miyamoto, you are a legendary game developer. The industry will forever be indebted to you. However, that godforsaken track has ruined my life.