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An Open Letter to Brett Favre until this point has been a forum for me to post ridiculous stories, sarcasm riddled anecdotes, and obscene ramblings. So far I have yet to write an article that expressed pure emotion, my true feelings, or to make actual points WITHOUT me trying to throw in a stupid joke, or somehow sneak in one of my patented rants. One of my childhood (and teenage, and young adult) heroes, a man I have cheered on in his prime, endeared during the twilight of his career, shed tears with during his times of sadness, and defended when he “became a traitor” has once again found himself in the media spotlight for reasons that he should not be.

His name is Brett Lorenzo Favre, and I just saw his alleged penis on

In case you have been living under a rock, Brett Favre is being investigated by the National Football League because of allegations that he has sent suggestive voicemails, explicit texts, and pictures of his penis to Jenn Sterger when they both were employees of the New York Jets. At this point, nothing has been proven yet, and until I hear anything official, I’ll hold my judgment. But regardless, when you combine these allegations with Favre’s diva attitude over the years, (an attitude that I defended) it becomes difficult even for me, one of the biggest Brett Favre fans you’ll ever meet, a vocal supporter, and an apologist to overlook and defend.

Below are the OTHER notable and well known off-the-field headlines of Brett Favre:
  • Vicodin addiction: Football is a violent, painful sport. Many athletes take medication to relieve the stress on their bodies. Some athletes also get addicted to those drugs. He, unlike A LOT of them, went to rehabilitation, got help, and 15 years later, hasn’t touched a painkiller since.
  • In 2004, Favre's wife, Deanna Favre, was diagnosed with breast cancer. Following aggressive treatment through 2004, she recovered. She and Brett created The Deanna Favre Hope Foundation which supports breast cancer education and women's breast imaging and diagnosis services for all women, including those who are medically underserved.
  • Favre established the Brett Favre Fourward Foundation in 1996. In conjunction with his annual golf tournament, celebrity softball game, and fundraising dinners, the foundation has donated more than $2 million to charities in his home state of Mississippi as well as to those in his adopted state of Wisconsin.
  • Retirements and Returns: Brett Favre has retired twice, returned twice, and waffled about his playing status for nearly 6 years. For me, I overlooked this behavior simply because of the fact that I understood that it’s ultimately HIS life, HIS career, and as long as he and his team(s) were willing to go through the annual summertime saga, who really cares? The man brings ratings, is probably the most exciting player to ever set foot in a stadium, and plays with a great deal of emotion and passion. He simply has been a joy for me to watch for 20 seasons, and in my opinion, he makes the NFL much better.
No matter what you think of the man, from 1992 until now, not even including his on-the-field achievements, it’s safe for me to state that Favre has been the face of not only the Green Bay Packers, but afterwards as one of the most cherished ambassadors the league could ever ask for. He has a southern charm and wit, a down-home attitude, and a certain enthusiasm that will be hard to ever replicate. However, if these allegations are in fact proven true, his legacy will be truly tarnished, his family will most likely be torn apart at the seams, and he will in many people’s eyes, including my own, become a pariah.

Brett, I really, REALLY hope the penis I saw was not yours. Also, I am quite concerned as to why I'm looking at penises.

I'll always support your achievements, your enthusiasm, but not your cock.

The Bloody Glove: A Business Proposal

A couple days ago, my buddy David and I were at The Pizza Oven, a Monona, Wisconsin gem that just so happens to serve the best pizza I have ever eaten. It's a bold statement, but I would also like to point out that I've eaten A LOT of damn pizza in my life.

Now that I've gotten my promotional considerations out of the way, let me get to the guts of this story. David and I realized after looking around the place, that the walls are completely filled with sports memorabilia, from the likes of the Green Bay Packers and Brett Favre to other nationally themed tributes, such as Tiger Woods, Mark McGwire and Jim Brown. 

At this point David asks me, "You know what would be awesome? What if instead of basically worshiping these people for all of their athletic achievements, what if a restaurant instead put up framed pictures and news articles of all their scandals?"

A revolutionary idea was conceived.

Imagine this: It's Saturday night, and you want to watch the game. You and your buddies walk through the doors of a sports bar to see walls filled with Michael Vick and Tiger Woods. Any "normal" establishment would focus primarily on Michael Vick's days as a NFL phenom or Tiger Woods' dominance in golf.

Not here. Oh, and from this point forward, "here" is now known simply as The Bloody Glove. The Bloody Glove would have an entire wall filled with pictures of Tiger Woods' bruised face, a collage of all women he allegedly slept with, and probably a TV with which I will loop his voicemails to these women and have them transcribed so you, as the customer, can enjoy the downfall of a man who used to be the face of golf, but now has problems even qualifying for tournaments.

We've covered Tiger Woods, but what other athletes could we exploit? I've conveniently made a list of some of the walls David and I plan on having in this restaurant. And yes, there are going to be A LOT of walls at The Bloody Glove. It'll actually be the most architecturally pleasing establishment you've ever been to.

Clearly we need to apply for a loan as soon as possible.


Weekly Internet Travels (12/6/09-12/12/09)

I'll be honest, while I thoroughly enjoy maintaining this website, I enjoy wasting countless hours on the internet more. This recurring phenomenon is precisely why I plan on posting a new "Weekly Internet Travels" entry on Fridays or Saturdays. In essence, this will be a roundup and depository of THE MANY THINGS I find during the week. Examples may include, but are not limited to:

  • News articles
  • Videos
  • Pictures
  • Random things that make me chuckle
  • Maybe the nude photos of myself that I promised a long time ago

And yes, I'm aware that December 12, 2009 is in fact tomorrow.

F*ck Winter Coolest Clock Ever? Video

Irish Car Bomb Float



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