YOU WILL LOVE THIS ARTICLE IF: You cried openly after the Green Bay Packers won Superbowl XLV.
YOU WILL HATE THIS ARTICLE IF: Seeing emotional, obnoxious "adults" screaming loudly about grown men playing with a pig's bladder made you worry about the current state of humanity.
It's been a few weeks since the Green Bay Packers' thrilling victory over the Pittsburgh Steelers. However, football season is now unfortunately over (perhaps for a long time when you consider a possible lockout) and I'm eagerly awaiting the 2011 NFL Draft. Long story short: Football is on my mind. It only makes sense that something that I'm so passionate about now has entered my subconscious, and I'm now going to discuss the best idea I've ever had.
Going to a Chicago Cubs vs. Chicago White Sox baseball game, wearing Packer jerseys and cheeseheads, and totally alienating the people around us.
What I'm proposing is simple:
- Get a group of people together that share my Packer fanaticism
- Purchase tickets to a Cubs/White Sox baseball game
- Drive down to Chicago wearing Packer gear
- Tailgate outside the stadium for hours, heckling Chicago-area fans. Do Lambeau Leaps into the back of our vehicles.
- Lil Wayne's "Green and Yellow" playing. Constantly.
- Enter stadium, after enjoying some adult beverages
- Basic plan for the 9 innings of baseball (~3.5 hours):
- "Go Pack Go" chants...often, and loudly.
- Hold signs that say: "Welcome to Lambeau Field South."
- Make a lot of "Da Bears" jokes. A LOT of them.
- Ask the people around us who their favorite Packers are.
- Give out some cheeseheads and trading cards to little kids in hopes of angering their depressed parents who have been Cubs fans all their lives, and likely will never witness a championship. Ever.
- Advertise the many attractions of Wisconsin; state parks, resorts, haunted houses, etc.
- When the game is over, raise our replica Super Bowl trophies, and in unision exclaim, "The Vince Lombardi trophy is coming home!"
- Post-game festivities:
- If the game took place at Wrigley Field, spend the night, explore Michigan Avenue, dine at the restaurants, and have an overall great night.
- If the game took place at U.S. Celluar Field, leave, and as QUICKLY as possible. Let's be honest here, we are in South Chicago, and statistically speaking, the odds of us getting shot are quite high...especially after angering so many people.
That's essentially it. The fans of the Chicago Cubs and Chicago White Sox vehemently hate eachother. However, I feel that they could somehow put their differences aside and direct their anger at us instead. I honestly believe that we have been too respectful of the Bears fans since they lost to the Packers a few weeks ago, and letting them off the hook simply isn't right. If interested, get ahold of me, and we'll start planning the weekend trip of our lives.
In spite of Ed Gein being born here, I'm still really proud to be a Wisconsinite.