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Wednesday
Jan292014

Real Men of Genius

Allow me to state this upfront, after trying the many iterations of Budweiser products -- ranging from Bud Light Lime to Michelob -- I can honestly say that this so called "beer" is comparable to horse urine in terms of flavor. With that said however, the marketing team for Anheuser-Busch...those guys are champions.

From the "Bud. Weis. Er" amphibians, up to those adorable Clydesdale ponies (which probably explains why the beer tastes like horse piss in the first place), it has become evident that these brewers from St. Louis, Missouri are not messing around. The finest example of the Budweiser marketing prowess would likely be their early 2000s advertising campaign, Real Men of Genius.

My personal favorite is the "Mr. Golfball Washer Inventor" ad. Seriously, guys. Google that ad.

Tuesday
Feb192013

Mall Walkers: An American Epidemic

via Wikipedia:

Mall walking is a form of exercise in which people walk or jog through the usually long corridors of shopping malls. Many malls open early so that people may mall walk, however stores and other such facilities generally do not open at this time. Many choose to mall walk as the indoor climate is comfortable and there is easy access to restrooms.

Mall walking is undertaken individually, in groups, or as part of an organized mall walking program. Mall walking in the United States is especially popular amongst senior citizens."

I was recently in dire need of brake service for my car. Seeing as though I have had great luck with Sears Automotive over the years with regards to walk-ins because of their flexible hours, and because they are typically within close proximity to shopping malls, I chose them because I would have somewhere to go for a few hours while I await the eventual return of my car keys.

It was very early in the morning, and I was in desperate need of food. After confirming with the Sears associate that the food court was in fact open at 8am, I made my way towards the smell of what appeared to be a nourishing breakfast.

In all actuality, the only venue open at such an hour is McDonalds, so my desire for a "nourishing" breakfast never came to fruition.

However, I gathered up my coffee and McGriddle combo meal (which to this day, the science behind these things baffle me) and sat down amongst an incredibly old crowd. Let me say this:

On this particular morning at this particular mall, I was the youngest person by about 35 years. While eating my breakfast, I happened to look around, and saw hordes of senior citizens power walking around me, almost as if they were planets orbiting a sun.

I was absolutely astounded. I literally counted 25 elders in all directions of me. Furthermore, many of these people were wearing Under Armour, sneakers, and wind breakers. These folks actually come to malls during the early morning hours to physically enhance their aging bodies. 

Work them glutes, ladies.

After my breakfast, I still had plenty of time to kill. I decided I had reached the point in my life in which it was time for me to experience mall walking.

It was truly a liberating experience.