The Hip-Hop Industry: over-sexed or under-fed?

I live in Madison, Wisconsin, and I generally love this city. To name a few highlights:

• Big city feel in a friendly environment
• Many things to do
• Amazing parks/bike trails

However, there is one thing that needs to be improved about Madison, and that is its RADIO STATIONS. There is honestly a good mixture of rock, oldies, hip-hop, and pop. The only problem is, the lineup generally sucks. However, since my Zune got stolen last summer, and when I get tired of When you see a man like this, looks can be deceiving.listening to ESPN Radio and NPR, I've been forced to listen the local stations lately...with interesting results. I usually hit the "scan" button to avoid listening to the mind numbingly stupid jingles, so when I come across a song that is mildly catchy, or has a decent beat, I usually listen. Lately, I've noticed that I've been listening to a lot of 93.1 now, which plays only hip-hop. After listening to a lot of this, I have come to the following theory with which I'm going to share with you:

Not including sex, killing, fights, and jewelery, there is one theme that is generally intertwined within hip-hop...the Inner City's love for food.

To prove my point, below are a few examples:

1. Ying Yang Twins: Salt Shaker
2. Kelis: Milkshake
3. T-Pain: Apple Bottom Jeans
4. DJ Aligator: Lollipop
5. 69 Boyz: Tootsie Roll

And those are just some songs with food in the actual title. If you sit down for like a week, and listen to strictly hip-hop, I guarantee the odds of you not wanting to dance and eat a meal afterwards is incredibly, incredibly slim. 

QUESTION: Who is likely to endorse fast food chains?

ANSWER: Hip-hop artists, or other celebrities with hip-hop playing in the background.

Do you know why that music is usually played? Because it makes your mind crave burgers. That's why I plead to you to not scoff or think badly of the average thug on the street...but to instead offer him a Whooper. Deep down, that's all he truly desires.

A public service announcement from Jesse Zakshesky.