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My Parents: Squirrel Whisperers

For the past two years or so, I have noticed an interesting trend at my parents' house:

Very large and fearless squirrels. Everywhere.

During this period, my parents have been providing easily 80% of these squirrels' (I've counted at least three of them) caloric intake.

It's even gotten to the point that these creatures will hear my dad come home from work and wait for him to exit his car. I'll walk by the dining room table to talk to my mom while looking out of our window to see furry paws tapping my patio doors. I'll be mowing the lawn until I soon realize that I'm walking through a mine field; not of explosives, but of walnuts.

They went on vacation last February and bestowed upon me the task of keeping the house in order while they were away. Because of the fact that I refused to provide for this family of supposed "wild" squirrels who were taking residence at my house, I noticed a lack of activity in the backyward after a few days of my gross negligence. Fast-forward to a few weeks later to the day that my parents came back from Florida and you would have thought these squirrels had just won the lottery. I've never seen such happiness before in the eyes of rodents.

Like a boss.


Two Miniseries you need to watch

In the highly unlikely scenario where you find yourself asking:

Hey, I wonder what that Jesse Zakshesky fellow has been up to...I should read his blog to find out!

...the following two trailers should properly explain why I haven't even logged into this stupid website in a month.

Normally I would go on a half-witted attempt to sound somewhat intelligent or funny, but you should really go to wherever it is that you get your video content, likely listed below, and pass out on your couch for a few weeks.

  • Netflix (If you haven't cancelled your membership yet)
  • Hulu (If you enjoy ads from Kraft foods)
  • Blockbuster (LOL!)
  • Illegal underground torrent trackers (You likely already downloaded these videos, whether you meant to or not.)

You're welcome.