Entries in Disasters (2)
I typically go home on Sundays for 3 reasons:
- I can't cook
- I love football
- My parents are pretty tight
My parents made a delicious steak dinner, and after experiencing #1 and #2 on the above list, I decided that I would be "the good son" and offer to do some dishes while they left to run some errands. Doing dishes, as annoying as it may be, really isn't that bad of a chore, however, I really wanted to watch football (actually, I just wanted to see Chad Ochocinco and Cedric "Crack Rock" Benson), and decided instead to do a half-assed job. With my hurry to get back to watching that game, instead of soaking the pan with hot water which is normal protocol, I thought it would be beneficial to put a little water in the pan and place it on my stove over high heat.
In retrospect, this wasn't the wisest choice.
Not only did I make that mistake, I also really had to go to the bathroom, and left the kitchen for about 5 minutes.
This mistake just got A LOT worse.
After "doing what I had to do" in the bathroom, I hear what sounds like an EKG machine going haywire. I open the bathroom door to see the house that I spent the last 7 years of my life under a cloud of smoke. After my internal thoughts filled with vulgarities, I somehow remembered my 4th grade fire safety seminar tips (which is surprising because back then, I usually fell asleep, or launched spit wads at girls who I thought had cooties) which told me to smother the fire with baking soda. After I find our baking soda, I rip open the box and quickly pour it over the fire. Looking back on it however, I poured that baking soda A LITTLE TOO QUICK because I got it all over me. Covered in white powder, I thankfully put out the fire. That wasn't the end of my problems though. My next step was to get rid of the smoke, and quite frankly, I was eager to do it before my parents got home. "Adults" normally don't burn down houses, so I really wanted to avoid that fun discussion. Unfortunately for me, as I was swiftly opening doors and windows, my dad walks in, sees a roomful of smoke, and his kid covered in white powder.
Dad: "Jesse, we were gone for 30 minutes, what happened?"
Jesse: "Nothing much, just almost burned the house down, no big deal."