Go Pack Go.]]>Go Pack Go.]]>I made a quick chart to compare them:
Somewhere, Chris Berman is jealous that he didn't come up with this nickname himself.With that being said, Darvin Ham was dynamic enough to at least gain some national exposure, in Milwaukee of all places, because of one simple fact.
The dude could dunk.
During one of the few times that the Milwaukee Bucks played a game on national TV in the early 2000s, Darvin Ham stole the ball away from Allen Iverson, ran past Dikembe Mutombo's oblong body, and dunked violently enough that Marv Albert screamed:
Darvin just served Philadelphia a Ham Slamwich."
Since that moment, being a fan of this dude was the only reason I even liked the Milwaukee Bucks, and why I followed his career vigilantly after. (Which meant I had to watch Detroit Pistons games. It sucked.) Naturally, I was a little pissed off when I heard some moron on ESPN referring to one of Hamilton's home runs as a "Ham Slamwich."
I just realized how incredibly stupid this article is. Enjoy the two videos below. I mean, the dude breaks a glass backboard...it's pretty badass.
I really can't believe I just spent 35 minutes of my life documenting Darvin Ham's career.
]]>Long story short, my Shazam app has gotten A LOT better at identifying international hits.
WARNING: This song is EXTREMELY catchy and likely will be stuck in your head until you wake up tomorrow morning.
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That’s here. That’s home. That’s us. On it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives. The aggregate of our joy and suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother and father, hopeful child, inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every “superstar,” every “supreme leader,” every saint and sinner in the history of our species lived there — on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam.
The Earth is a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena. Think of the rivers of blood spilled by all those generals and emperors, so that, in glory and triumph, they could become the momentary masters of a fraction of a dot. Think of the endless cruelties visited by the inhabitants of one corner of this pixel on the scarcely distinguishable inhabitants of some other corner, how frequent their misunderstandings, how eager they are to kill one another, how fervent their hatreds. Our posturings, our imagined self-importance, the delusion that we have some privileged position in the Universe, are challenged by this point of pale light.
Our planet is a lonely speck in the great enveloping cosmic dark. In our obscurity, in all this vastness, there is no hint that help will come from elsewhere to save us from ourselves. The Earth is the only world known so far to harbor life. There is nowhere else, at least in the near future, to which our species could migrate. Visit, yes. Settle, not yet. Like it or not, for the moment the Earth is where we make our stand. It has been said that astronomy is a humbling and character building experience. There is perhaps no better demonstration of the folly of human conceits than this distant image of our tiny world. To me, it underscores our responsibility to deal more kindly with one another, and to preserve and cherish the pale blue dot, the only home we’ve ever known."
-Carl Sagan
“We are all connected; To each other, biologically. To the earth, chemically. To the rest of the universe atomically.”
As members of the human race, we call this chunk of rotating rock, fire, and ice home and we should realize how amazing Earth is EVERYDAY, not just April 22nd.
I'm sorry. The sole purpose of this article was for me to find a way to post these witty videos without sounding unintelligent and shortsighted.
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"To me it looks like a leprechaun to me, all you got to do is look up in the tree. Who all seen the leprechaun say yeaaaa!!"
I wanna know where da gold at.
I'm sorry, I couldn't resist.
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There is a fast food chain known simply as Checkers that is very prevalent in my former homeland. These restaurants serve the best fries that have ever graced my lips, and as great as the food is up here in Wisconsin, nothing quite compares.
Until the Summer of 2009, I was under the impression that the only opportunities I would ever have to taste the delectable grease that Checkers has to offer would be if I were to vacation down in the South. However, 2.5 years ago my life changed when I was told that there are in fact two locations in the Milwaukee metropolitan area. To put it bluntly, I ate A LOT of Checkers that glorious summer. Be that as it may, I was a lot older then than when I was 9, and was more informed about social demographics. What I'm trying to say is this:
To eat at Checkers, I have to travel to impoverished areas, literally festering with crime and narcotic use.
I would risk my damn life for these fries, Yo.
It is not my intention to sound like a complete douchebag, but I was raised in an extremely sheltered community in the suburbs of Madison, Wisconsin, one of the most progressive cities not only in the Midwest, but in the entire country. To the best of my knowledge, I did not grow up around crack deals, shootings, and prostitution rings. It's definitely a culture shock when I roll up to the drive-thru craving burgers, naively oblivious to the fact that I get to go back to a safe community in a matter of hours, while the majority of the customers and employees do not share the same fate.
In the past three years, both recreationally and traveling for my job, I've encountered three Checkers locations in Wisconsin. Since I'm a complete nerd who takes my desire for hedonism too far, I did a little research. Both Checkers and Rally's are owned by Wellspring Capital Management, and I have a simple, selfish request to ask them:
Please open more of these fine establishments in safer areas that I feel more comfortable visiting with friends and family. Seeing crack being smoked and women selling their bodies makes me feel awkward while I'm stuffing my gullet with burgers, wings, and fries.
Yours truly,
Jesse Zakshesky
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It only makes sense to plug my own blog as well :)
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The sexiest pile of food you'll ever see.
Mmmmm, high cholesterol.
Pat Lee and Jarrett Bush, you two individuals are the only people who have ever spoiled my appetite.
]]>Hey, I wonder what that Jesse Zakshesky fellow has been up to...I should read his blog to find out!
...the following two trailers should properly explain why I haven't even logged into this stupid website in a month.
Normally I would go on a half-witted attempt to sound somewhat intelligent or funny, but you should really go to wherever it is that you get your video content, likely listed below, and pass out on your couch for a few weeks.
You're welcome.
]]>Google Wallet is a mobile payment system developed by Google that allows its users to store credit cards, loyalty cards, and gift cards among other things, as well as redeeming sales promotions on their mobile phone. Google Wallet uses near field communication to "make secure payments fast and convenient by simply tapping the phone on any PayPass-enabled terminal at checkout."
Seeing as though I'm a technology enthusiast, I decided it was time to give this a test run. Once I installed and set up the application on my phone, I discovered something beautiful in the confirmation email they sent me:
As a thanks for your early interest, we’ll give you $10 on the Google Prepaid Card if you activate it in Google Wallet by the end of the year.
Not only am I a technology enthusiast, but I'm also an enthusiast of sitting on my ass, drinking beer, and watching football.
I did a quick search via zip code to see which retail establishments in my area support this sort of transaction, and I found the following:
FYI: I like Einstein Bagels as well.
Suffice it to say, location "A" was looking the most promising for the following reasons:
I walked in, verified that they do in fact have the necessary MasterCard PayPass terminals, grabbed my beer, flirted a little, finished my transaction, and vacated the premises with my free merchandise.
Thanks, Google!
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