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Saturday
Sep152012

Remembering Neil Armstrong

Obviously, being the first person to ever walk on the Moon is an impressive achievement, and upon your death you are bound (and deservedly so) to be remembered greatly for your amazing and historic adventure. However, nothing sums up how truly perilous and daunting a task that the commander of Apollo 11 faced quite like this quote:

via badassoftheweek.com:

So here was Neil Armstrong, harnessed into a cramped little aluminum coffin packed with all the technological computing power of a TI-85 solar-powered calculator, fighting the controls trying to manually place a two-passenger missile packed with jet fuel on the surface of an interstellar object nobody has ever attempted to land on before, and to do it delicately enough that it doesn't crash, fall over, explode, or otherwise bring about the brutally-violent deaths of everyone inside."


Godspeed, Neil.

Thursday
Aug302012

Dear Future Wife

DISCLAIMER: THIS ARTICLE IS DEDICATED TO THE WOMAN WHO DECIDES TO BEAR MY CHILD(REN).

I'm going to keep this short and concise. If we have a son, you might as well stop thinking up names right now. His name is GOING to be Ezekiel Zakshesky...Zeke for short. This is not negotiable.

You may be wondering to yourself, why? 

via Wikipedia

In JudaismChristianity and Islam, Ezekiel is acknowledged as a Hebrew prophet. In Judaism and Christianity, he is also viewed as the author of the Book of Ezekiel that reveals prophecies regarding the destruction of Jerusalem and the Millennia Temple visions, or the Third Temple."

Badassery.

Furthermore, in case you didn't realize by now, I'm slightly in love with the Green Bay Packers. During the Lombardi Dynasty, there was a respected quarterback who isn't as well known simply because of the fact that he had the unfortunate position of playing behind Bart Starr...which ultimately meant he never played. However, during the few occasions (garbage time, or when Starr was hurt) in which Zeke Bratkowsi was given the chance to prove himself, he did so with honor.

FYI: If our son even contemplates being anything but a Packer fan, I'm going to beat him.So there you have it. As a token of my appreciation to you for your understanding and commitment, I'll relent and allow you some creative control over the middle name.

Also, please don't divorce me.

Wednesday
Jul182012

My Parents: Squirrel Whisperers

For the past two years or so, I have noticed an interesting trend at my parents' house:

Very large and fearless squirrels. Everywhere.

During this period, my parents have been providing easily 80% of these squirrels' (I've counted at least three of them) caloric intake.

It's even gotten to the point that these creatures will hear my dad come home from work and wait for him to exit his car. I'll walk by the dining room table to talk to my mom while looking out of our window to see furry paws tapping my patio doors. I'll be mowing the lawn until I soon realize that I'm walking through a mine field; not of explosives, but of walnuts.

They went on vacation last February and bestowed upon me the task of keeping the house in order while they were away. Because of the fact that I refused to provide for this family of supposed "wild" squirrels who were taking residence at my house, I noticed a lack of activity in the backyward after a few days of my gross negligence. Fast-forward to a few weeks later to the day that my parents came back from Florida and you would have thought these squirrels had just won the lottery. I've never seen such happiness before in the eyes of rodents.

Like a boss.

Thursday
Jul052012

My experimentation with panoramic photography

DISCLAIMER: I BY NO MEANS PRETEND TO KNOW ANYTHING WHATSOEVER ABOUT PHOTOGRAPHY. I SIMPLY ENJOY PRETTY PICTURES.

A couple months ago, my Android phone received the Ice Cream Sandwich upgrade (ICS 4.0) which ultimately fixed a few quirks and enabled me expanded functionality. Most notably, my camera can now take panoramic photos. There have been a number of occurrences during the past few months where I found my surroundings to be beautiful enough to warrant a panoramic photograph. Embedded below are a few examples.

You can also view these photos in a slightly larger format in my photo gallery.

Thursday
May242012

I paid $250 to become a shareholder in what!?

Go Pack Go.