psy·cho·sis - noun

Psychosis is a loss of contact with reality, usually including false beliefs about what is taking place or who one is (delusions) and seeing or hearing things that aren't there (hallucinations).

We all have strange dreams and/or nightmares from time to time. It's natural. But what I experienced last night was literally the most convoluted subconscious-adventure I've ever been on.

DISCLAIMER: YOU WILL BE LESS INTELLIGENT AFTER READING THIS.

• Having a small dinner party with a group of friends at Samba, a Brazilian grill in Madison, Wisconsin.
• Owner of Samba seemed a little private and quirky, so obviously I go up and introduce myself.
• After 30 minutes of riveting conversation involving roast duck and mojitos, the owner invites me to a VIP party. (To the best of my knowledge, Samba does not host VIP parties.)
• Upon arrival to VIP party, I realize I'm the only person in the room who is not an Al-Qaeda operative. Owner of Samba is actually Osama Bin Laden in disguise.
• Owner of Samba, Osama Bin Laden, not too happy over the fact that a 23 year-old American is causing a ruckus about having dinner with terrorists.
• Osama Bin Laden and various Al-Qaeda operatives chase me around downtown Madison to the State Capitol where a standoff takes place.
• Authorities kill Al-Qaeda operatives, but Bin Laden escapes via waverunner and promises revenge.

It's a shame that Samba will never be quite the same to me ever again. That salad bar is top-notch.

According to my dreams, Abbottābad, Pakistan is actually located in the Midwest.