I paid $250 to become a shareholder in what!?

Go Pack Go.

#HamSlamwich

In terms of career success, Josh Hamilton is the best offensive player in his league. Darvin Ham hasn't been heard from in 3 years. As a matter of fact, this very article you're reading, right now, is the only time in recorded history that both Darvin Ham and Josh Hamilton have ever been mentioned in the same sentence before. Ever.

I made a quick chart to compare them:

Somewhere, Chris Berman is jealous that he didn't come up with this nickname himself.With that being said, Darvin Ham was dynamic enough to at least gain some national exposure, in Milwaukee of all places, because of one simple fact.

The dude could dunk.

During one of the few times that the Milwaukee Bucks played a game on national TV in the early 2000s, Darvin Ham stole the ball away from Allen Iverson, ran past Dikembe Mutombo's oblong body, and dunked violently enough that Marv Albert screamed:

Darvin just served Philadelphia a Ham Slamwich."

Since that moment, being a fan of this dude was the only reason I even liked the Milwaukee Bucks, and why I followed his career vigilantly after. (Which meant I had to watch Detroit Pistons games. It sucked.) Naturally, I was a little pissed off when I heard some moron on ESPN referring to one of Hamilton's home runs as a "Ham Slamwich." 

I just realized how incredibly stupid this article is. Enjoy the two videos below. I mean, the dude breaks a glass backboard...it's pretty badass.

I really can't believe I just spent 35 minutes of my life documenting Darvin Ham's career.

I've officially eaten at Parthenon Gyros too many times

Anybody that knows me personally understands that I have an insatiable addiction to Parthenon Gyros. Not only is the food sublime, but the Europop is second to none. 

Long story short, my Shazam app has gotten A LOT better at identifying international hits. 

WARNING: This song is EXTREMELY catchy and likely will be stuck in your head until you wake up tomorrow morning.

Update on Friday, May 18, 2012 at 5:13PM by Jesse Zakshesky

FYI: THE ABOVE POSTED SONG, HENCEFORTH, SHALL BE KNOWN AS THE GYRO ANTHEM.

Earth Day

That’s here. That’s home. That’s us. On it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives. The aggregate of our joy and suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother and father, hopeful child, inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every “superstar,” every “supreme leader,” every saint and sinner in the history of our species lived there — on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam.

The Earth is a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena. Think of the rivers of blood spilled by all those generals and emperors, so that, in glory and triumph, they could become the momentary masters of a fraction of a dot. Think of the endless cruelties visited by the inhabitants of one corner of this pixel on the scarcely distinguishable inhabitants of some other corner, how frequent their misunderstandings, how eager they are to kill one another, how fervent their hatreds. Our posturings, our imagined self-importance, the delusion that we have some privileged position in the Universe, are challenged by this point of pale light.

Our planet is a lonely speck in the great enveloping cosmic dark. In our obscurity, in all this vastness, there is no hint that help will come from elsewhere to save us from ourselves. The Earth is the only world known so far to harbor life. There is nowhere else, at least in the near future, to which our species could migrate. Visit, yes. Settle, not yet. Like it or not, for the moment the Earth is where we make our stand. It has been said that astronomy is a humbling and character building experience. There is perhaps no better demonstration of the folly of human conceits than this distant image of our tiny world. To me, it underscores our responsibility to deal more kindly with one another, and to preserve and cherish the pale blue dot, the only home we’ve ever known."

-Carl Sagan

“We are all connected; To each other, biologically. To the earth, chemically. To the rest of the universe atomically.”

As members of the human race, we call this chunk of rotating rock, fire, and ice home and we should realize how amazing Earth is EVERYDAY, not just April 22nd.

I'm sorry. The sole purpose of this article was for me to find a way to post these witty videos without sounding unintelligent and shortsighted.

Why I love St. Patty's

I'm not Irish, but I love the music associated with its culture.

a drink to peace between the nations from recordbodycount on 8tracks.

"To me it looks like a leprechaun to me, all you got to do is look up in the tree. Who all seen the leprechaun say yeaaaa!!"

I wanna know where da gold at.

I'm sorry, I couldn't resist.